guide to trans bots: joys of jllm with t!user, t!char + t4t
chat memory!!!
one of the most helpful things I've found, as someone who primarily makes bots that are t4t or for trans users, and as a trans person who uses other bots, is the chat memory. a pretty good outline for chat memory prompts that I use is something like this:

of course this can be edited to fit your identity, and however you would like to be referred to! this is just what I've found works best :)
refresh!!!!!
refresh refresh refresh!!! a lot of people probably think this is obvious, but I've seen lots of people acting like theyre forced to deal with whatever the first message is. if you're not liking how it's responding, refresh that shit!
if all else fails--
just edit the message. editing several messages to be accurate to your anatomy will teach the bot to do that on its own, and should work better than just praying for it to get it right. jllm needs help from you to know how it's supposed to refer to you, and you might have to edit a message every so often!